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Viagra its What’s For Dinner

by scott on November 3, 2009

Viagra, it’s What’s For Dinner!
Well, it’s the year 2009 and Viagra is basically a household name. Perhaps stay at home moms should embrace that fact and start sharing recipes for cooking up some post meal intimacy. May I suggest, what I assume to be, the world’s first erectile dysfunction online cookbook. It features cocktails, appetizers, the main courses and of course, every lady’s favorite, desserts.

Looking for a nice meal to spice up a typical Tuesday evening? Perhaps a “Rise-A-Roni” appetizer or the “Beef Swellington.” Or perhaps you’re in the mood for something different. Maybe the “Sauteed Chinese Schwing Beans” or “Top Sir Loin” will satisfy you. And let’s not forget dessert. A serving of “Fudgey Coconut Cialis Clusters” should do nicely. Just be sure to put the special ingredient in only one of these dishes. We’d rather you spend the evening together at home instead of the hospital.

Beef Swellington
The new way to prepare beef not-so-tenderloin.
Ingredients:
4 pounds boneless chuck
2 large onions, sliced
12 mushrooms, chopped
2 tablespoons ketchup
1 large green pepper, sliced
1 can beer
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
1 tablet Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra
Preparation:
Crush tablet with mortar and pestle. Season meat with salt and pepper, and brown lightly in heavy skillet. Add onions, pepper and mushrooms, and brown lightly. Pour beer over meat, and stir in mustard and ketchup. Cover tightly, and simmer slowly for 2 to 2 1/2 hours, or until meat is tender. Let meat rest for 15 minutes, then carve and serve on plates. Sprinkle crushed tablet onto one serving. Serves 12. (Make sure the correct person gets the loaded meat.)

Top Sir Loin
Spice up his night with this peppery meat.
Ingredients:
1 tablespoon coarsely ground pepper
2 cloves garlic
2 teaspoons kosher salt
2 teaspoons horseradish
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 pound boneless top sirloin steak
Hot sauce (to taste)
1 tablet Cialis
Preparation:
Crush Cialis with mortar and pestle. Mince garlic. Make a marinade by mixing together the pepper, garlic, salt, horseradish, hot sauce, and olive oil. Rub the mixture on your meat, and let marinade for several hours.

Heat grill, and broil steak about 3-4 minutes per side. Remove and let sit for 10-15 minutes. Cut into 1/4 inch slices, serve on plates, and sprinkle crushed Cialis onto one serving. Serves 2. (Make sure the correct person gets the loaded steak.)

Rise-A-Roni
The real San Francisco treat.
Ingredients:
One package Rice-A-Roni
2 1/2 cups water
2 tablespoons margarine
1 tablet Cialis
Preparation:
Crush Cialis with mortar and pestle. Prepare Rice-A-Roni according to package instructions. Serve in bowls, and mix crushed Cialis into one serving. Serves 2. (Make sure the correct person gets the loaded ‘Roni.)
Sauteed Chinese Schwing Beans
Hot ‘n’ oily.
Ingredients:
2 1/2 teaspoons sesame oil
10 ounces fresh green beans
3/4 teaspoon garlic, minced
3/4 teaspoon fresh ginger root, minced
1 ounce black bean sauce (available in the Asian aisle)
1 tablet Cialis
Preparation:
Crush Cialis with mortar and pestle. Trim green beans. Heat oil over medium-high heat. Stir in green beans and cook for 1-2 minutes, stirring frequently. Stir in garlic and ginger, and cook for another 4 minutes, continuing to stir. Season with salt and pepper, then stir in black bean sauce. Continue cooking until green beans are tender. Serve on plates, and mix crushed Cialis into one serving. Serves 2. (Make sure the correct person gets the loaded beans.)
Fudgey Coconut Cialis Clusters
A real clusterfudge.
Ingredients:
1 cup butter
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup macadamia nuts, chopped
2 cups flour
3/4 cups shredded coconut
2/3 cups Hershey’s cocoa
1 Cialis tablet
Preparation:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla; beat well. Combine flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add to creamed mixture and mix well. Stir in chopped macadamias and coconut. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes. After removing from oven, immediately place Cialis tablet in the center of one cookie. Allow to cook for one minute, then transfer to cooling racks. (Make sure the correct person gets the loaded cookie.)

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