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Date My Daughter – Apply Here

by RaRa on December 3, 2010

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No If No, explain:

_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain

____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does ‘LATE’ mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER’ mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE’ mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman’s place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE,
RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________      ________________________________
Mother’s Signature                                     Father’s Signature

_______________________________      ________________________________

Pastor/Priest/Rabbi                         State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.  Please do not
try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you
injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two
gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)
Don’t forget to read the RULES

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

tyler waddell February 25, 2011 at 2:06 pm

i think i need to get laid and this is the only way kids cant see my face i would take halo sword and stick it in your teleaporter. I would give your dog a red rocket. I would treat your daughter with the respect she deserve a whore thats how I like them

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