Being Politically Correct

Being Politically Correct

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentucky, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as HILLBILLIES - You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS

And furthermore...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. She is not a BABE or a Chick - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN
2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE
3. She is not a DUMB BLONDE - She is a LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY
4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION
5. She does not NAG you - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
6. She is not a TWO-BIT HOOKER - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
5. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
6. It's not his CRACK you see hanging out of his pants - It's REAR CLEAVAGE